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P(osition)rison.

February 8, 2018

 

I was in beautiful Hawaii. Sitting on a gorgeous patio with my tea, Bible and journal.   I was savoring the moment, sipping my favorite tea, surrounded by an incredible view of the ocean and palm trees, enjoying some quiet time with Jesus, while Doug and the kids still slept. It was a perfect moment!  And then, out of nowhere, I suddenly found myself getting a God administered ‘attitude adjustment’ on a situation that I had been wrestling with.  And by adjustment, I mean a chiropractor type adjustment – a quick and to the point “ouch”.

It happened while reading through one of my favorite Bible stories – Joseph.  In this story,  Joseph experiences every kind of emotional pain that you can think of.  Rejection.  Abandonment.  Betrayal.  Abuse and more.  All at the hand of his very own brothers.  Those who he trusted, and who were closest to him.  His own family.  These brothers not only rejected him, threw him in a pit to die, but they took it a step further.  They SOLD him. Into slavery. And ultimately, he landed in prison.

Painful.  Some serious potential emotional wreckage.  Joseph had every “right” to be bitter and angry, and to seek revenge and retribution. He had gone through 13 years in slavery before being called up to serve in Pharaoh’s house as second in command (That’s another cool part of the story, but not for today). That’s 13 years living out the betrayal of his brothers. He had 13 years to think about his revenge.  13 years of baggage.  13 years of hurt. Then, it all turns around.  Is this a time for payback or position?

Joseph’s perspective is so cross-current to what we think of as normal or even healthy in culture today. In these verses, Joseph reveals an emotional default that is different than what we would expect.

Through a crazy turn of events, Joseph has gone from being locked in prison, to being in a position of power over his brothers. He has the power, the means, the motive and the opportunity to put his brothers in slavery if he desires!  And yet, listen to these verses in Genesis 45:4-8, as Joseph responds to his brothers in love …

Joseph: “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. Don’t be upset or angry with yourselves any longer because of what you did. You see God sent me here ahead of you to preserve life…  7 God sent me here ahead of you to make sure you and your families survive this terrible ordeal and have a remnant left on earth. So it wasn’t really you who sent me here, but God…”

And then he further drives his point home in Genesis 50:19-20, when he says to his brothers…

Joseph19 Don’t be afraid. Am I to judge instead of God? It is not my place. 20 Even though you intended to harm me, God intended it only for good, and through me, He preserved the lives of countless people, as He is still doing today.”  (The Voice Translation)

Tears sting my eyes, even as I write and process this through again. I have often heard, and even repeated to others, that it takes time to forgive, and it’s not a “one time thing”.  Some of those really big hurts and wounds, we must forgive daily as they come to mind.  All of which I still believe.  But what grips my heart about these verses, is that Joseph understood that his brothers weren’t selling him into slavery, God was positioning him for their freedom.

Joseph sees his brothers’ rejection, betrayal, abandonment and abuse as part of God’s plan to position him for a great purpose – to save a whole lot of people. God was thinking way ahead.  Like 20 years ahead!  This is where it gets hard to swallow. It’s hard to see the future when something hurts now.  Yet, this is what it takes if we are going to bring freedom to others, and be a Joseph leader.  A Joseph leader is a deliverer, and if there is any calling in life that takes the perspective of Heaven it is this one.

People hurt people. At times, I have been tempted to throw in the towel, close up emotionally, stop trusting people or lose faith in God. But what if we could live like Joseph.  What if we began to trust that the Lord is using people, and some of our greatest hurts and wounds, to position us as deliverers. What if we went way beyond forgiving our offenders, to a place where we could actually thank God for some of our most difficult circumstances.  Living with the Joseph mindset is believing that God actually positioned us to exactly where He wanted us to be, so we could fulfill a specific plan.

I can already look back and see this in my own life.  I can see how the journey has made me stronger, wiser, with greater discernment and compassion for those that were a challenge along the way.  Let’s not forget that God loves them and we are a part of their journey as well.  I can see how some of those experiences have been part of God re-positioning Doug and I to Denver, to start the Pearl Church, to reach out to new people, to step out into new territory.

I know that more hurdles will come.  More rejection.  More pain. But I want to approach it in a new way.  I want to have God’s view. If I want my life to count, I have to be willing to trust HIS positioning.  Sometimes it’s at the top of the mountain with a clear view, sometimes it’s at the bottom of a dark pit. In a place that feels like a prison. Either way, I want to trust Him to position me however He sees best. As a friend once told me many years ago, “if you know that you will thank the Lord later, you can stop and thank Him today, even when you don’t know what He is doing.”

Next time you find yourself hurting from the actions or words of those close to you, don’t stop at forgiveness, but choose to remember Joseph’s words…

Even though you intended to harm me, God intended it only for good, and through me, He preserved the lives of countless people, as He is still doing today.”

What is God doing in you through this?  How could He be positioning your heart? In what ways can the Joseph perspective help you in a situation right now?

Let’s choose to move from the prison mindset, where we feel trapped by what has been done to us,  into a new mindset.  A mindset that stems from believing that God is positioning us.  A beyond forgiveness kind of mindset.

With much love,

Donna

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“In Fact, Don’t Even Speak.”

July 19, 2017

I’m a verbal processor.  I need to talk things through out loud, usually more than once, to make sure I really believe it.  Sometimes I discover what I am really feeling or thinking AS I talk.  And AS I talk, I have also figured out that sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

My MOUTH gets me in trouble.  Please tell me I’m not alone in this!   When my mouth is led by my emotions, something happens.  It is absolutely possible to speak things into existence that are opposed to what you truly believe in your heart. Or what’s worse, you can change what you truly believe if you say it enough times.

As I was studying to preach, I started reading Joshua and the battle of Jericho. It has always been one of my favorite stories in the Bible, but this time something hit me that I hadn’t seen before.  As I read through the story in Joshua 6, I noticed that God gave Joshua clear instructions that he was to pass on to the people.  Namely, how they would defeat Jericho and enter their Promised Land.  But in verse 10, as Joshua passed these instructions on to the people, he added something.

Josh 6:10 Joshua had given orders to the people, “Don’t shout. In fact, don’t even speak… until you hear me say, ‘Shout!’— Then shout away!” (The Message)

Why would Joshua add these extra instructions?  Because Joshua had been at the edge of the Promised Land once before… and he learned something.

Forty years earlier, Joshua was one of twelve scouts sent in to spy out the Promised Land.  Twelve scouts went out, but only Joshua and Caleb came back with the faith that God would help them defeat the enemy.

What happened?

Picture Joshua recalling that walk home after scouting the land forty years previously. He and Caleb were excited, ready to take the land God had promised them.  God had brought them to the land flowing with milk and honey.  They had tasted the fruit, seen the land and BELIEVED what God had said to them. God was bigger than any giant in their minds and what their mouths said reflected it.  Then as they walked home, the other ten scouts began to talk about the giants.  What probably started as “those were some big giants” turned into “we are like grasshoppers compared to them.”  By the time they got home, the ten scouts had completely talked themselves out of their Promised Land.  All they could remember were the HUGE giants.  What they focused on and talked about GREW in their minds and ruined their faith in the time it took to walk home.

What their minds focused on, their mouths spoke.  What their mouths spoke, their ears heard.  What their ears heard, their hearts embraced. It’s a vicious cycle. Romans 10:17 say “Faith comes by hearing…” If you speak faith, you will ultimately have faith. Joshua knew that the key to victory this time, was for them to keep their mouths shut.  So, he added those crucial words to God’s instructions, “Don’t shout. In fact, don’t even speak (and srew this up).”  There are times when it is better, if you feel afraid, to just be silent and let God be God.

Next time you are tempted to verbally process yourself away from faith, remember Joshua’s story.  When there are giants and obstacles in your way, ask yourself this question, “Could I be talking myself out of my victory?”  And remember Israel’s forty years in the desert.  No. Thank. You.

I currently have some of these verses, promises and declarations taped to my bathroom mirror. I have taken them from different messages I have listened to, as well as verses that anchor me to my faith. They are personal.  What I am standing on. Daily, I read them and speak them OUT LOUD.  I want my spirit to hear my faith. I want the truth in God’s word to be louder than anything else.  And when doubt comes knocking, I shut the door, and… shut my mouth.

I will leave you with this verse:

Psalms 34:12,13a “If you love life, and want to live a good, long life, take care what you say.”

The Word also reminds us that words can bring life or death.  We can’t choose our circumstances, but we can take care what we say. We can choose our words.  I am choosing life.  Daily.  You can too!

Remember God is for you, His plans are good and He will always finish what He starts in you.

Have a truly blessed day!

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If it was about you.

March 15, 2017

This might surprise some of you, but there was a time I actually refused to lead worship. Years ago, when we first started ministry, before the crowds and the recordings, I was asked to step up and lead worship. I refused. I loved playing piano and singing to support the worship leader, but that was good enough for me. Truthfully, my normal flow was, leave me alone on the piano for hours, worshiping in the presence of the Lord, and writing songs no one may ever hear – that was my comfort zone, and where I always imagined I would remain. However, to truly surrender your life to God’s will, means that comfort can no longer rule over your calling.

The first year that we led the youth conference at our church, God spoke to my husband that it was time for me to lead worship. The first night of the conference our regular worship leader led, and was as usual, AMAZING. Anointed. Powerful. The next night was ‘my night’ to lead but I barely made it through the rehearsal. As the rehearsal started, fear, or insecurity, or pride, or all three, suddenly appeared out of nowhere, like giants staring me down. I lost the staring contest. I always loved the stories of David, how he would sit in the field alone with the sheep and write Psalms. I related to that part of David. Never, however, did I expect my first Goliath to come from inside my own heart. Continue Reading…